The story of the disappearing poop

As promised in my last post about my failure of a social life, here is the story you’ve all been waiting for. Because who doesn’t love a good baby & poop story??

RJ and I usually shower together in the mornings. I need my daily shower. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve missed my daily shower since he was born. I wasn’t one of those moms who had the same PJs or robe on for a week straight during the newborn days.  I NEEDED my showers and made sure I got them, one way or another. If the baby had to sit in his bouncer and scream for 5 minutes then that’s what he had to do!

My husband goes to work pretty early, so I’m not about to wake up at 5am to get my shower in. And now RJ doesn’t nap until after noon, so I don’t want to wait until midday. But he’s not quite at the age where I trust him running around our house unsupervised while I’m in the shower and can’t hear him knocking shit over. So showering together is my solution. I bring cups and tupperware and toys into the shower for him to fill with water and splash and play with. He has a blast. And he gets clean, too, which means we eliminate the need for an evening bathtime for him. That’s a win-win for me. Most days it is anyway.

After our shower I wrap RJ up in a towel and we cuddle while I dry him off. As soon as the drying-off part is done, he’s wiggling out of my grasp to avoid getting diapered and dressed. Because what 20 month old doesn’t love running around the house naked, grabbing at his baby-junk? Mine sure does. I’ll usually risk it, and let him run around in the nude for 10 minutes or so while I finish getting dressed, brushing my teeth, etc. It’s never been a problem before.

Until last week.

I was in the middle of brushing my teeth when RJ ran up to me fretting and grabbing at my legs. I figured he just wanted to be a part of the teeth-brushing routine, which he sometimes does. (He likes when I give him a piece of floss so he can mimic flossing his teeth). But when I bent down to pick him up, I stopped short and noticed a tiny little bit of poop hanging from his baby butt.

Oh crap.

Literally.

He must have dropped a baby deuce somewhere.

I grabbed him under his arms and held him out far away from me while we went from my bathroom to the changing table in his bedroom, keeping an eye out to not step in his pile of poop along the way. I got him cleaned up with a fresh diaper and then went in search of the present I assumed he left for me somewhere.

I never found it.

It’s been a week and a half.

So, maybe it doesn’t exist? Maybe it was only just that little tiny poop that was still attached to his bum, and that’s it?

Or maybe we’ll come across it someday a few months from now when we’re moving furniture around.

I’ll be sure to update when we do.

nakeebaby

Pumpkin Patch Time

We had an impromptu pumpkin patch visit last night.  That’s why ladybug is in a dress and not typical fall clothing fare.  Granted, it is Socal and part of the hottest time of the year, but still, I wouldn’t have sent her to a hay lot in a dress otherwise.

In the comments below, tell us what your favorite fall traditions are…

In our household, we go Apple picking in Oak Glen every year since we were married as an annual, to synthesize as though we aren’t living in Socal where the weather is usually predictable and the seasons are slightly cool, June Gloom, HOT, Windy & Fires, slightly cool, hopefully rain, rinse & repeat.

The crowds hit Oak Glen typically on weekend afternoons in October.  We always are certain to leave our house very early on a Saturday morning to make the hour drive.  This gets us in front of the line for mini-apple cider donuts!  ladybug at the pumpkin patch

 

A night off

Last night I had what every stay-at-home-mom craves, a few hours out of the house with real, live, grown-up, adult-like people.

RJ and I waited patiently (Note: every time I use the word “patient” in this blog, it is an outright lie. I am not a patient person. Ever.) all afternoon for Dada to get home. RJ helped me pick out my outfit. A sweater and jeans and sneakers. But I swear that outfit has nothing to do with me being a mom. I was always fashionably hopeless and always overly casual well before RJ came along and widened my hips and feet and zapped every ounce of energy I never had. So shh.

RJ was not thrilled when Momma said bye-bye. There was much screaming and clinging. I counted to three and pulled his claws out of my arms and thrust him at Daddy E. and tried to ignore his tragically miserable screams while I ran out the door, crying, “Freedom! Freedom, at last!!!!!”

And for the record, this is the first time we’ve ever had such a scene from RJ when I leave. He usually is the first to push my butt out the door when he learns that he gets to have some quality time alone with his treasured Dada.

I took the ferry into the city. Listened to a podcast on my headphones. Basked in the aloneness of it all.

I met up with a couple of girl friends I used to work with. Neither of whom have children. And so I found I had nothing to talk about. Besides RJ. Who, I try to remind myself, no one finds even a fraction as interesting as I do. Like, um, who wants to hear the totally gross story about the case of the disappearing poo??? (Which I promise I’ll blog about soon. Get excited).  No? Hmmm… ok, who wants to see pictures of RJ walking down the stairs??? No? Really? Are you sure?  Ok, hmm, I’m out of ideas then. Let’s talk about you.

But still. It was nice. I managed to find a couple other topics of conversation besides my son or my desperately sad and empty womb. I swear I only mentioned RJ like… 2 or 3… or maybe 9 or 10 times. Ok, maybe 12. And I totally stopped and corrected myself mid-sentence when I announced to the table that I needed to go find “the potty”.

So, I’d say, overall, a successful night off from Mommy-hood. Let’s do it again sometime. Maybe I’ll get crazy next time and put on some ballet flats or some mascara or something.

Ugh, This Just Happened

I have a slew of excuses as to why this just happened… you know, our built in alarm clock aka sunrise special Lana, slept in, so my husband leaped from the bed in superhuman fashion, yelling out “WE ARE LATE!!!”  Traffic was a b*tch because of being 45 minutes behind schedule.  The breakfast I made last night didn’t sound appealing.  One of the guys on my team messaged me “want a bagel?” in the midst of all of this.  So yeah, this happened… 8 grams of added sugar.. bleh.  That’s not counting whatever is in the cream cheese they gave me, but I think it was full fat, so hopefully it’s not that bad.  Oh, and in full transparency, I used french vanilla creamer this morning instead of unsweetened almond milk.  Ugh, what happened… bagel 2014-09-25 08.41.47

Robots, Fish, Dolls. Janod Toys

A plethora of subscription boxes reaches our door every month, much to my husband’s chagrin.  One of the best parts of the subscription service is that it introduces you to brands or products you might have otherwise have never known about.  Which, is also the downside, because you suddenly realize that you “need” coughmarketingatitsbestcough more of that otherwise unknown product.   Sure, there are duds in the boxes and another subject for another post is how certain subscription services continually send Lana stuff that is geared toward itty bitty babies.  We don’t need yet another stuffed rattler positioned as “Lana needs to learn how to look at herself in a rattle with a mirror at age 19 months because…”  yeah, nice try.  Anyway, like usual, I digress.

In a couple of the various boxes, predominantly Little P’nuts, there have been a couple of Janod toys.  I knew nothing of Janod.  But, after receiving a couple of puzzles or other toys, I looked them up on Amazon.  You know, my favorite website of all time and the bane of my mailman’s existence.  Ahem.  Most of the toys are designed in France, are wooden and toxic free.  Many feature magnets as well.  The brand as a whole, doesn’t push gender-ification of the toys.  Here are a couple of examples of the items that have made it into our home either by subscription or by moi purchasing it (like what I did there with the French ;P).

Janod Helicopter & Rocket Magnetic kit with Coloring Book:

Janod Helicopter & Rocket

Janod Robot Magnets: (we have the Doll version too)Janod Robots

Janod Fish PuzzleJanod Fish Puzzle  Janod Stack & Link Turtles:   Janod Stack & LinkJanod Zoo & Forest Puzzles (we only have the zoo one): Janod Puzzles

There are probably a couple other toys in our house that I am forgetting about, but this at least gives you a general overview of their products.  It seems they have an extensive product line, but I really have only had to be exposed to age appropriate for a kid who puts pieces in her mouth still.

* p.s. nappies + milk does list products via Amazon to help pay for hosting and blog related costs